tweet Hawks Win!! tweet
That's how twitter works, right?
fuck. did you have to draw it on me with a permanent marker
Just saw a Mexican guy pushing a stroller with 3 twelve packs of corona in it with a toddler struggling to keep up on foot behind him
she must wash her vagina with a dirtier vagina
not sure what i find more disconcerting, your text or the fact that i recognized that as a dane cook quote
I'm wearing the bright blue sombrero all through the airport as a sign of triumph that I survived spring break. I'm getting compliments
I'm so ready for finals. She finally agreed to skypesex me from spain so now i'm up until 4am studying every morning waiting for her to get online
He ended up walking out of his bedroom and told me to look at the nonexistent fire he was holding in his hand. Im upset I didn't take those shrooms.
I just realized my life is a timeline of drunken injuries.
Some poor guy found you passed out in a bathroom stall. Again with your dick out. Looks like you got to rage after all.
No he's here. We were watching Harry Potter stoned as shit and he fell asleep with his head in my lap. I'll figure out what to do with him after Harry gives Dobby the sock.
doing the walk of shame back to your house in nothing but a bed sheet was definitely not one of my proudest moments..
I haven't had an orgasm since 2014. So you cam see why I'm having a bad year.
my drug dealer is also my eyebrow lady. Two birds, one stone.
Alright, I've had enough of this good girl shit. Tonight you either blackout or backout.
I miss the pre Covid days when we could meet men in bars. Hitting on guys in the grocery store is just depressing
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