can we take a shower together?
no need for the romantic shit. I'm a sure thing
I would say a second date is not looking likely, I acciedentally bit his penis. it's still bleeding 43 minutes later.
Can you pinpoint the moment you decided it was acceptable to trade blow jobs for beers or was it a gradual slide?
He wanted to take a picture with our pizza to show his mom that I was pretty but more importantly that he practices in "sober" activities
Just wanna let u know that we are almost on the pity blow job level of our friendship.
All my credit cards need to be pressure washed
got fuckng wasted at spring training, got a lap dance at le girls, got a burrito at filibertos, and still made it to my 5 o'clock eco class wearing a bikini top....I love Arizona State University
You went down on Rachel in front me last night. Worst. Brother. Ever.
and somewhere between crying in her arms and throwing up in her front yard, we became friends.
A woman with Alzheimer's pointed at me and said, "Don't forget to wear socks, because you're a lady!" I think it's legit advice.
I smoked a joint in the bathtub at 8 am then went back to bed
We probably shouldn't have humped each other in a stairwell for an hour. that was probably my bad
I didn't know that all of his brothers would be hot and musical too. That's a dick move on behalf of biology.
I'd give anything to be driving a pirate ship wearing nothing but a coconut bra and a grass skirt eating a pizza and watching dolphins jump in the waves. Dreams ya gotta have dreams
Hey I'm trying to get back with my ex I'mm done doing whatever we were doing I hope things workout for you
Weird flex but ok.
Randomize
