Drawing on your hand and calling it yenifer lopez doesn't count!
Tell your broad to take a big shot of 'chill the fuck out' and put it on my tab.
either she said she was feeling frisky or eating friskies..i was too drunk to understand.
she said if she won the lottery she'd fuck me... isn't that like government funded prostitution?
i woke up completely naked except for a bottle of beer saran wrapped in between my boobs
Look, if he's not the brother with three nipples, I'm just not interested.
I just got a call from the front desk apparently one of my feiends was dropped off by a handicap bus passed out in a wheel chair unlv is goig down
I just want to be able to run around naked and eat grass with no judgments and have people feed me and expect me to sleep all the time.
I threw up in a pringles can. how do you think my night went.
He posted a picture from Senor Frogs. I don't remember where that bikini came from and my sombrero is PERPENDICULAR. Safe to say it was one hell of a day
I just paid my school fees like a real adult who doesn't get accidentally drunk on a Tuesday night
Nah, I was done when the Big Pun lookalike began to sob and tell me I looked like his ex...
Ryan. I woke up. At the neighbors house. And by the neighbors. I mean the ones to the north. The ones that hate us. Please call me. I am so confused and you are gone
At the neighbors house?! Like in it or outside???
In it on the fucking couch. No idea how i got here.
you tried to fight the cop who was busting the party, you said you had a constitutional right to do a keg stand...
I feel like 20 angels jizzed in my mouth. This cupcake is DELICIOUS!
Randomize
