Dude. No way. She insults the term butterface. She's a butternothing.
WHOA. WHOA. WTF. WHOA. TOO HIGH FOR HIM TO BE ENGAGED RIGHT NOW.
Good thing you didnt wake up last night. Wouldve found me naked talking to my closet asking to borrow my towel.
i just packed a bowl on a big bird place mat and smoked it in a spaceship with a slide. i love babysitting.
Have you ever straight up just taken a bite out of a block of cheese? Because it's amazing.
It's sad the highlight of the night was you didn't electrocute yourself again.
I'm wearing the jeans from casino night. Tell me why I have a napkin in my pocket that says 'dont fear me'? I'm hoping it was just a coincidence.
I just realized how early it is, you're taking this booty call thing to a whole other level. also, there are altoids all over my room, that was weird
Im calling him
was mistake calling. If you drunk dial someone you deserve to choke on a tubesock. Take the advice. Always remember
Go for gold. Two birds with one vag.
She called his dick the colossus. I dont give a fuck if shes his wingman, I gotta see this natural wonder
I'm really ok with inappropriate relationships. They are my favorite of all the relationships. No need to be timid. For crying out loud.
Stoned. Scared. Bring pool noodle and onion rings.
Hey, you should go to your facebook ASAP... i'm guessing you're wasted but you just uploaded a picture of someones dick...and everyones taking bets now if its Rick or Mikes..
You're a problem for me, dick game too good. In the future when I'm with someone I actually wanna to date, now I'm gonna compare.
Randomize
