Soap is not a condiment
he invited me to an all week drinking party at his house. apparently he knows the key to my heart is booze shaped.
its always fun the next morning to look around the room and see where all the clothing landed.
where'd the toddler underneathe the beer pong table come from?
Clearly, I'm already going to hell, so there's no point in trying anymore.
i lnow ive slrrwsdy teted you this. but goddamn girl on tv is a good song
there are ass prints on the hood of my car.
What ever happened to the whole 'innocent until proven guilty' thing. Like 'not pregnant until proven pregnant'. That's how it should be...
It might have taken me 30 minutes but I finally finished the toast I made. That hungover.
I almost tried texting you with my pipe. Holy fuck this is good shit.
I remeber being on the roof last night and we put our heads togeather and we touched each others face and said "Hennessyyyy"
You're telling me he never had to ask for a blow job and he STILL broke up with you? I call bullshit on that one.
I just got the two most enjoyable things in life in one... Weed delivered in bubble wrap.
Hey, YOU try working out drunk every night! Besides, I think at least one of those bruises is a hickey.
There's no such thing as shame in your world, is there?
Randomize
