You give one guy a hand job and suddenly everyone wants to get with you
so she called me drunk and made me stay on the phone with her while she puked.
Always thought my first night in jail would consist of fire and a bunny suit.
You were rubbing sand all over yourself and everyone else and claiming you were "EXFOLIATING."
All I remember is that the bartender wouldn't give me scissors cuz I was too drunk
Dude she's on meds. He has a ginormous penis. Ur A dumbass. That concludes our feelings chat. Dim Sumday?
You screamed "she never feeds them anyway" and threw the fish tank off the 3rd floor balcony. Don't park on our side of the building.
Well it's been 24 hours and I still feel like a mammoth sat on my balls
I think I want to impress his gay best friend more than him..
wellllllll.... I literally just puked in my mouth so perhaps this is not the epic love connection I believed it to be 3 minutes ago.
I don't know if it is the Everclear or chemistry, but i think my brain is coming out of my ears.
I just heard your voicemail. Glad you like my dick and think I'm cool
First night of sleeping in the same bed, and she farted on me. I immediately excused myself and went home. Don't know if we're still together. Will update you.
The kid with the ed hardy shirt put a bunch of random shit in the washer and turned it on. example: a hanger, the movie Chocolate with Johnny Depp, and your mom's cat
OMG OMG OMG!!!! I made his penis bleed!! I repeat I MADE HIS PENIS BLEED!!!!
Randomize
