I woke up this morning in a strange bed with a kid with an accent playing with my feet.
Court Ordered Rehab!!! Do you think I'll need a swimsuit?
he had more hair on his balls then in my Easter basket
please stop telling ppl youre Alice Cullen when youre drunk
He won't ever take me seriously if I keep getting drunk and hooking up with all his friends.
i'm about to say screw it and get drunk in the hotel by myself
It's 2 pm, at least sit by the pool...
I swear to Christ if it turns out to be an intervention, i will set you on fire.
Also, any YOLOwl-related sex photos will result in you winning ten orgasms, courtesy of myself, as well as sweets and bacon-based dinner. All entrants welcome
Pizza toast. It's like pizza but on toast. BC we are broke. OMG its so good.
You would never do this sober.
We have six bottles of wine and we are at target buying baby oil to grease up the sleds with, just in case you're interested.
& I just realized there is no vomit smiley. There needs to be a vomit smiley
I woke up with Pop Rocks stuck to my ass
Partying with my eighth grade history teacher I know you're jealous
Best news I’ve heard all day. Cookies and dick. What more could a girl ask for?
I would really like it if you guys got out of my bush
Randomize
