My vagina is in bus station locker number 1465.You can go talk to it if u like -in the mean time I’m going 2show up drunk and embarrass u at work.
Looks like a significant portion of my drinking money just became legal fees.
Also, nothing screams "don't talk to me because I'm unstable" like walking around eating cookie dough out of the package.
3-9 out of 10... Depends on the situation. Taco Bell is more of an idea than a restaurant.
How stoned are you?
Well you were hungry, by then you cried and called yourself a basic bitch for eating crackers
So last night I turned down multiple drinks because "I didn't want to hold them". It's time reevaluate my decisions
i warned you not to do dabs 20 minutes before graduation. You never listen
So I considered mediating this morning and instead I master-bated...same thing right?
I just want somebody to fondle my boobs while I read fanfiction. Is that too much to ask?
All the movies on cable here are either porn or Bollywood. I am never leaving this hotel.
He ate me out while I was playing bejeweled. It was the greatest moment of my life.
i’n just gonna forge ahead, gag reflex be DAMNED.
Dear god my vagina.
Highlight of the day: got a bunch of drunks to sing baby shark.
I'm hung over and my mom made me go to church. I feel like such a sinner.
I need an aspirin and some dignity.
Randomize
