The bars here don't close until 4!
my legs don't close until 4
i just saw a man dusting the fake palm trees at the mall
...welcome to nebraska
is it bad that listening to the rabbi's wife talk about how we should only be with one person is making me really, really horny for no string attached sex
i just had to use the keg as a stool to reach the margarita maker. i'm such a problem solver.
We need to get sombreros so I can give them to strippers.
If I ever mention marriage force me to Brazil to do coke and strippers until I die.
michael burned off one of his eyebrows making a pizza so he had to shave off the other one to make it look even. it doesn't look right, but I'd still bang him.
Old men love us. For they have fine taste and disturbing minds.
I was just like oh sorry I'm peeling meanwhile my legs are on either side of his head and I look like a fucking Komodo dragon
When God was sprinkling self control to everybody, he ran out and was like ehhhh she'll make it!
doctors was a success... no liver damage and I lost five pounds.. we're celebrating tonight you get the whiskey I'll get the burritos.
Your cock has been in the back of my throat. Co-worker is no longer a sufficient title. Fix that shit ASAP
Her vagina is like the upper echelon of Scientology and I don't have enough money to get in
Although can we find me a starter dick? I don't want security showing up again. That was awkward.
It seems that Coffee is the true alpha male.
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