I can only name 15 people I've had sex with - can I just start claiming that as my sex number?
in spanish class. the girl next to me asked what Galapagos were. i told her they were islands. now she thinks Galapagos means islands in spanish
My choices this week make me realize that I need to copyright the term "cock buffet"
the fact that i fell through a skylight is the least humiliating part of the night
just a question.. totally understand if you dont know what im talking about.. but.. do you have my funnel? i think i tucked it in to your bed last night.
Of all the things I am low enough to do, how could you even doubt if that was one of them?
and then you seriously asked him to senior prom..which freaked him out since you told him earlier you were 22
Did you bedazzle the elevator?
Today, my boyfriend informed me that I look like my dad when I orgasm
I just spent 10 min explaining to my mom how orange is a strange color. I think she knows
Hey, remember when Hot Stuff played in the back of the ambulance? Or no, cause of your concussion...
Is she okay?
She may want to issue revenge punches, but medically fine.
My boss brought her husband's telescope to work, so all of us that work in the MMJ Dispensary got high and had an impromptu Blood Moon viewing party. I love my job.
I'm making mistakes. Coming up with girl now
I hate me. That girl was hiiiiideous.
I'm making myself the patron saint of bisexuality
Randomize