the new term for farting is butt boxing.
She def said "you had your chance!" after telling me she had a boyfriend. Like a pile of dogshit lecturing me on how I missed out on having itself stuck to the bottom of my shoe.
Glitter + Penis = Best. Idea. Ever.
worst. lesbian. ever. i'm not sure she knows a clit from a pencil eraser.
just walked into the room and her sister said loudly, "do him, or I will."
After the sixth shot I started to slur my pauses.
She's been divorced three times and use to raise cock fighters. Of course I'm interested in her
In the ER. 2nd degree burns. Drunken attempt to make gasoline scented candles.
He came over while I was in the ER and hung pictures of himself around my house.
Did you leave your blow razor here? I need it for crafts.
I just accidentally hit share on pornhub... Probably the scariest moment of my life
We could make it cute. Like "oh those two cute lesbians who are about five foot two who sell the cocaine down the street. You know the ones? With the Yorkies?"
He just whispered "doors are weird" and then laughed so hard he fell down the stairs.
I just found your ripped underwear on my chandelier. Care to explain?
I was basically just fingering myself and thinking about space.
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