yeah, and when i walked in on them fucking he said "go away, i'm making sons."
he offered to walk down from the bar this morning to my house and bring me a guinness...
how romantic. its the irish mans version of flowers
honestly I asked the same thing when we had our slip n slide and margarita party
We are casual work acquaintances that occasionally fuck when the urge strikes. CWATOFWTUS. I know FWB rolls off the tongue better but it is what it is.
CORAL IS FAR MORE RED THAN HER LIPS RED
Oh god you're Sonnet 130 drunk, aren't you.
No way. Every time you have sex with him you'll end up staring into those eagle eyes and stop mid-orgasm.
can you just act like it's not so easy to get a blowjob from me??
I just let my hand run under cold water for five minutes. I couldn't stop staring at it and the only things I could think about were how amazing it felt, how cool water was, and what a wonderful world it is that we live in. Reasons why I don't smoke...
I flashed a party boat full of Asians yesterday, didn't I?
When you're not at your house I assumed you're somewhere having sex
oh and apparently my boobs are named "have no fear" and "plenty o'beer"
Do you think casino weekend will remind us once again that we in fact are not mature enough to be this old?
can we not compare my dick to a children’s folk tale
She gave me a boner for the first time in 9 years.
I am dancing alone in my bathroom because I was paranoid the neighbors were watching through the windows
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