Well to be completely honest its more of a 'i wanna do things to you that your parents would not enjoy hearing about' mood
the guy that filmed erin andrews naked got 27 months in jail. Every man that's seen it should send him cigs and a nail file baked in a cake. We owe it to him.
its was like we drinking an entire bottle of mystery
I'm leaving my hospital band on when we go drinking tonight. I'm aiming for pity sex.
We should live in a duplex and just hook up with randoms for the rest of forever and be animal hoarders.
I've always wanted to pass out in a bathtub
I think most people do. Your only real mistake was turning the water on first.
Why were you staring at her like that over breakfast?
Because I was eating with a spoon to remind her that she threw up on my hand while she was MAKING me spoon with her after our drunk sex. She got it. Don't worry.
He was so good, that I'm pretty sure he fucked his religion into me. P.S. I'm Jewish now.
Brian got his first ever blow job last night. We should make him a scrapbook.
Omg one side of my Labia is asleep. Has that ever happened to you?
Pro: Drunk Portland Strip Club. Con: Monday morning hangover at work. Pro: boobs. Con: Sleep deprivation. The Pro's are winning.
I would agree. Add some coffee to the booze. It will cut down on sleep deprivation.
I'm going back to his house to watch wreck it Ralp.
Hey, Monsters Inc. got me laid. Disney man, who knew it leads to sex.
I'm getting married
To pizza
Im looking at the faintest of claw marks right now. I just fell in love all over again.
So my step mom just informed me she tells stories about me at work as a form of birth control for the girls that work there, not sure if i should be offended or proud.
Randomize
