I've come to the conclusion that if I was an old man, I would perve around in short gym shorts for kicks.
I have a very awkward question for you. Could you possibly take my black dildo. My mom wants to clean my room.
your all-time low pick up line was when you asked a girl "Are you rock-staring at me?"
T-minus about 54 seconds until I am too high to speak English.
I'm jealous
My throat feels like a candle.
My spanish teacher discovered you can watch spanish music videos on youtube. Guess what were doing in class today? Michael Scott Spanish 101
It will be a surprise...all i can say is stripper clown
Just walked in on the Yellow Ranger getting porked by a guy in a UD Blue Hen costume. Will somebody PLEASE think of the children.
If letting him bang me while i'm wearing reindeer antlers and a painted red nose isn't the christmas spirit, I dont know what is
Well I'm 85-90% sure that he licked syrup off my body, but no guarantees...
He tried to fight me not realizing that I work as a bouncer in the the same bar we were in. His night ended with him in handcuffs, missing teeth, PLUS I got his shots that he ordered since he didn't get to drink them.
In need of cum proof mascara. Don't judge me.
Things my liver can't take in one weekend. Surprise nights off at work and male strippers. Woke up jaundiced.
The lowest point of my life has been reached. I just drank half a jar of pasta sauce.
I think one make out session at a bar per year is probably the best choice.
You're incredible, and I'm drunk
Randomize
