YOU CAN RENT MIDGETS ON CRAIGS LIST
I told you not to ruin your birthday surprise!
making an appointment with student health services to check out my pinkeye on 4/20. they are going to thing this is such a joke
We decided to have a girls night of four lokos, three of us cried and the other puked
it took me 7 solid minutes to realize "egggGSaucetingf" meant "exhausting"
What is the appropriate way to inform him that I am TOTALLY down for break up sex?
So I woke up in a strange bed with a note taped to my arm giving me directions back to my brothers apartment.
making a list of all the places we've peed. separate list of places we peed when we were stoned
The gay is strong with you! You're more concerned about my outfit than my safety.
IF WE WERE REALLY BEST FRIENDS FOREVER YOU GUYS WOULD AGREE TO A WATCHING A PORNO PARTY
I ate icecream cake off your tits for my birthday, if that's not love I don't know what is.
I'm going to bed early so football can come sooner
And I threw up 26 times yesterday. I actually think I threw up a spider too.
Thanksgiving day drinking ended up with me in a shopping cart screaming where are the bitches and condoms. I'd say it went well.
Thanks for coming out I think haley is drunk enough for breast milk White Russians
I'm about to order this penis-casting kit so text me within 5 mins if you're not down
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