so i had a choice between studying for my physics test on fluid dynamics or spend the night with my girlfriend. hello doubletasking.
I didnt attack him, I heard I threw a chair at him- big difference. And you know Im not a creep so whatever
woke up to the trail of sugar cubes leading to my bed........was i that uncooperative last night
I feel like somehow my uterus ended up in my ribcage from all the keg stands i did last night..
Also, the drinking age in Japan is 20. At what point in the sky am I allowed to start downing alcohol?
i'd say i'm about at weeping-uncontrollably-in-a-puddle-of-my-own-tears-and-urine level
He's hot though. It's not like he JUST got out of prison. That was like months ago
That feels better than graduating college or that time I tried to ride a llama. Did you know they really spit?
next time we make out at a concert please try to refrain from screaming out our hotel room number.. the amount of guys that knocked on our door after you passed out was ridiculous
I mean like if I stood up my head might pull me down like an anchor
dude, where are you? this beer run has taken so long i read war and peace, took a nap, and shaved 3 times.
I'm just drunk enough to be eating egg rolls on the toilet
Gary just stuck his dick in his Guinness. I can't even make this up
Memeber that time you got detained in Poland. We don’t talk about that enough
Listen, you eat the donut. I eat you out. Everybody wins.
Randomize
