What I lack in compassion I make up for in lack of compassion
Puked on a Tom Jones impersonator on the strip
Would you like to blur the lines between friendship and lesbianism tonight?
On your way out, lock the front door. And by lock the front door, I mean find the door handle, reattach it, and then lock it.
The one wearing a viking helmet and holding a bottle of Smirnoff. She's laying on the floor of the tube singing "cant find my way home" . You can't miss her..
He held back my hair as I puked, then kindly asked me to slightly move my head over and pissed right next to my face.
I'm mopping my WALLS now. And talking to my mop. I literally just told it "yeah I kno that dirt doesn't wanna come off but were gonna get aren't we?" This is some good snow!!! mini maid needs to give it to their maids. The world would be spotless!!!!
i wore a power symbol belly button ring just so i can drunkenly tell him that he turns me on. i dont care if it works i think its classy
See what happens when I don't get laid? I make poor life decisions, like buying baby ducks.
If I'm going to keep blacking out this much I need to start taking more pictures.
I would give a kidney to fuck him and he knows it. That bastard.
I puked on her cat, I think I should at least buy her breakfast
Dude. $3 Jack n Cokes AND Cheesesticks... Find me tomorrow plz
what the fuck happend anyway? How did it go from smoothies after work to blacking out?
Even in drag you're still better looking than your sister.
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