found an empty one..2nd door on the right...i'm already naked.
Not even the dog will look at me anymore.
thanks for texting me "so many asians" at 1am...
there were a lot.
how did he go about obtaining bull sperm?
you proceeded to scream out that it's your birthday to everyone who walked by before you collapsed in the middle of the street. happy 21st birthday to you.
would it be completely unacceptable to smoke a cig outside naked? im already doing it so what you say doesn't matter.
She looks like if Peter Griffin was a lesbian.
Run away.
I just found a piece of glass in my ear from Saturday.
GO AHEAD, BITCH, GLARE AT MY WAFFLE ONE MORE TIME. I WILL FUCK YOU UP.
Bianca brought a stripper home he's making me breakfast
Why didn't you ever bring me to the pope as a baby so he could kiss me.
I told him I had the birth control implant in my arm and he looked me in the eyes, said "Science!" and came in me
Like when your most normal sex dream is you being a prostitute, you know it's been one long ass dry spell.
New strategy for telling if someone is drunk: will they attempt to drink a candle if you put a straw in it?
You had blacked out Skype sex? Wow we live in the future
Randomize
