You are a beautiful, beautiful young lady. Your heart is made of tissue, blood and love. I will call you very soon, Princess Sophia.
I want to bang chis in dee ass burt he be hating on me times two. Me be tryin ti love onu
Bendover
I'm drunk at a fancy martini bar, wearing jeans, drinking cheap vodka that I brought in my purse. Got thrown out of court for using my cell phone. All in all calling Thursday a success.
I just spent the last hour spooning with my drug dealer.
all thats left of you is your magnum wrapper on my dresser
She needs to learn what's it like to have sex with someone and regret it the next day.
Can we progress our friendship to a point where i'm at least granted a blowjob allowance?
I took a bird feeder and filled it with alka-seltzer. Can you say fireworks?
After he convinced me that my friend had died and come back to life, I decided I was having sex with him that night, and that I should lay off the drugs for a while.
You're fucking beautiful as shit and we should have loving sex...
How early is too early to study with margaritas?
I know. It was just so disappointing. I almost made it. And now the "when's the last time you peed your pants" clock has restarted. Lol
On a scale from 1-10 how wrong is it to request "I Hit It First" at my ex's wedding reception?
Definite 12.2 but worth it.
dude you pointed at my dad's crotch and said I'd tap that. I didn't even know you were gay.
Highlight of the day: got a bunch of drunks to sing baby shark.
Randomize
