He's 11. You dont draw dicks on 11 year olds, i dont care if he ate your lasagna
Woke up under the lifeguard stand sleeping next to mitch our homeless friend. I bartered a summer wardrobe for his last 5 dollar to buy a bfast sandwich. Bring clothes
He had me saved in his phone as "Dick Socket". Lets see if I ever fuck him in a bathroom again.
He just told me that when we were doing it I told him I was the captain and he was the boat. Im too embarassed to ask for money for a cab.
He came when he saw that my nipples were pieced
I'd say things got weird when I started doing lines of molly in the box.
The family next to you was not pleased
You slid down the wall and got into the fetal position. He was definitely judging... I was judging....
He played with my boobs the whole time we watched Scott Pilgrim and then started invited others to play with them too. It reminded me of how my mom gives out my french fries without asking.
MDMA IS GREAT AND YOU WERE THE WORST GIRLFRIEND EVER.
When you didn't respond I figured you must be busy so I'm home in my pj's 2 beers in and stoned from weed I got from my gaybours. They also gave me cake. I'm not moving from this recliner.
He also needs to focus on not being such a little bitch, but that's none of my business.
Is it sacrilegious to take tequila shots on Saint Patrick's day?
This drink tastes like mosquito repellent.
Last night I made out with two lesbians while dancing with another girl. I'm pretty sure it wasn't even real life.
Remember when we thought adulthood would be different than college?
It is different. We had hopes and dreams back then. Now we're just alcoholics.
Randomize
