And then you told your sister how horrible of a friend I was because I couldn't get you cheese fries...
your tears are not going to buy me drinks...
Also, our mothers are placing bets on which of us will get pregnant first.
He just said he wasn't going to drink on Saturday because he was drinking on Thursday and Friday...we need new friends.
when i was alone, his dick was there for me...
I found the other part of your tooth if you want to put it under your pillow
You think they'd ask my permission before turning Pajamarama into an orgy. I saw too many of my friends dicks at once the door got kicked down.
THERE IS AN ENORMOUS FAT WOMAN EYEING MY FLIGHT'S GATE LIKE IT WOULD BE DELICIOUS TO EAT.
Just FYI, by the transitive property my breasts have now touched the Stanley Cup.
It would be awesome if I knew whose teeth these were in my pocket
guess who got crunk and thought it would be a good idea to give herself a pixie cut?
THOUGHT
The magician guy on probation is here at the bar. I'm gonna get him to show me a trick
Eating breakfast at 1:30 in the afternoon stark naked is how everyone should live
How many hotdogs are you going to eat today?
THE LIMIT DOES NOT EXIST.
It's time you knew: I have been dating your probation officer for 7 months. Pretty certain he's THE ONE. So, thanks for being a criminal.
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