how's this sound. You, me a box of pink franzia and a night full of possibilities in your basemen. I'll be me. You be you. And we'll see where it goes
16 and pregnant actually makes me really happy that i'm gay
I woke up hungover and reached for a glass of water only to realize too late that it was vodka sprite with my splooge in it.
just got a rotting pancake and bacon in the mail from your address....
If I had a motorized wheelchair, I'd just chase the squirrels on campus all day.
Just learned the hard way that dicks can bruise the back of your throat to the extent that you cant eat. You're dead to me.
Slipping me an edible before my ochem final was not your brightest idea. Looks like I'm switching to business.
This summer isn't about fun. We have to train our livers to survive the next four years.
He said he looked out his window and I was sitting in the grass with blood everywhere talking to a dog.
I need an IV, a new head, and stronger morals.
I don't even care if you were high. The fact that I've been begging for us to have those cinnamon rolls for months and you didn't even save me one is not ok.
I've officially slept through a hurricane, a tornado and had sex during an earthquake. I'm surviving.
I ate too many pot brownies and passed out topless with my boobs painted like the American flag
i pushed adam in a shopping cart for 15 blocks, then we realized we left tyler downtown
did you go back and get him?
nah we went to a karaoke bar instead, so worth it
Wow. I want to climb Santa. You've made my mind go places I wasn't prepared to explore.
Randomize
