Only girl at that party wearing a fake beard and I STILL get laid...
I used a physics textbook to prop her up so she wouldn't choke on her vomit...see I have learned something from statics class.
She needs to learn she only fits into our friendship as a DD.
GOING OUT OF BUSINESS: we're having a foreclosure party tonight...We'll also be raffling off a washer/dryer, microwave and a white tiger head.
I just had a vision of confetti exploding out of someone's vagina to the sound of air horns... I think that would be welcoming.
I like the way you think.
Sorry I forced you to take an adderall at 1am and then proceeded to dance to Lose Yourself outside of Qdoba.
I just found my "random bang list for summer of 2012" that I wrote last night.. It's written on a Plan B receipt. If this isn't irony I don't know what is.
I just did the walk of shame..with a blanket and a cup that says i will out drink all you bitches. This was not how i pictured 25.
we're all going for beer and wings at 7. inflate your girlfriend and bring her along too.
Its was awkward last year cuz in the middle of it her mom bust In the room with noise makers and champagne
I want to but I can't have a boner while doing a install and working with a customer
Have you ever gotten so angry that you stripped in public?
On a happier note, I can fit in my old shorts. Dope does have its perks
I love when my neighbors have passionate, loud sex to remind me that I'm not getting laid
I hope that will b the last time i take off my pants in the chemistry building.
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