whjeg hajt iyt
say what?
wanna hang out?
no more stoned jack in the box. this is the third night in a row.
He just screamed at her, "if you pass out i am still having sex with you!!!" In front of the entire party.
my roommate just said, "don't look at it, just put it iin your mouth"
just saw a girl come out of the tanning bed room on crutches, now thats determination
I don't understand why everytime I fuck his bestfriend he seems more interested in me...
I just found him singing into an empty paper towel roll while microwaving an empty ice cream carton. I'm gonna run away now.
He showed me one of his balls and said "this one's free. you'll have to work to see the other.."
We make out exclusively when we're drunk. That's like a relationship for me, right?
Just ate a chocolate chip cookie upside down. This is what having a degree does for you.
Getting dressed and listening to the song Buffalo Bill danced to in Silence of the Lambs. I'm a perfect psych major.
My greatest achievement in life thus far is being the go to friend when you have questions about butt plugs.
Yeah we fucked. I ran into her the next day, I had to pick up the girl scout cookies I ordered from her boyfriends kids.
Woke up with a $100 bill from the Philippines in my bra & an unopened box of sour patch kids next to me. I have some questions.
It goes to show, Sane person, daddy doms, little girls, all of us may seem different but deep inside we all grow wisdom teeth
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