You screamed 'pound me, you big thick stud.' I looked around for porn cameras.
Shut up. I did not.
I really wish I was making that up.
dude sorry about putting my finger in your butt last nite i was wasted and thought it was mine
Hairspray is covering 85% of my body. Help.
Wait until you see the roof.
we had incredible sex, then he proposed with the vibrating cock ring
its hard to take this fight seriously when one dude is an oompa loompa, and the other is a "g spot"
while we were making out your friend starting kissing my toes and all you had to say was "just go with it"
I was just too high to be in rapids man. I just screamed for the entire time I was jostling about.
I'm spending tomorrow with her. What should my ridiculous personal goal be? I've already got a blowjob while eating a cupcake
The plane down was full of newly weds and I counted 5 pairs of mile high club members. Actually, one might have been a group membership discount.
Christopher Columbus didn't sail the ocean blue so I would have to go to class and not have sex with my boyfriend
oh, i solved that problem. i told him i wanted to steal my roommate's nephew. radio silence. haven't heard from him since.
Something like; Dear Cupid, when are you going to send me someone to date that isn't a complete psychopath
I'm eating go-gurt and drinking beer alone in the dark. This is why you shouldn't marry young.
Shut the fuck up! I can hear you having sex over Pirates of the Caribbean you moaning whore.
I'm drunk but I just ate 2 heads of broccoli so does that mean it evens out?
Yes absolutlely
Randomize
