I just bought Christian paraphenilia at Borders for my dad's bday. I had the urge to tell them it wasn't mine, like I was buying laxatives or a dildo
Hahahaha. You probably would have been more comfortable buying either of those than what you just bought
He's doing the single life. He recently finished like a 3 year relationship. You can't date him.
But I don't want to date him. I just want to look at him. Naked. And in my bed.
You left your underwear on the fireplace
There was a community pot of Ramen, and if you were in the pool you were either fully clothes or ass naked.
I'm at the perfect height to walk up to the corner of my mom's stove and rest my balls on it. Just thought you'd like to know they're warm.
No really tho I'm wearing a chucky cheese shirt and yoga pants. If that doesn't scream no sex idk what does
Winner winner, chicken dinner. I am the sole survivor of the orgy without strep. Or maybe I was the carrier?
It's like a teen mom casting at the Obgyn's office. I feel great about my positive life decisions.
I have a physical this friday. On a scale from 1-10, 10 being the most judgemental gay bashing, how much judgement am I gonna get from my dr when he checks my balls and sees the cherry tattoo
i told him I'd let him eat part of a weed cookie out of my cleavage, so he pulled over like a gentleman.
I also fell asleep on the side of a tree so like I hit my lowest point there but it was a good time
Not as bad as when you were sitting in the pond getting fed water
She's currently singing "I'm gonna keep on lovin you" to her pillow. How do you think tonight went?
i was too drunk before they even got here. i took all their phones instead of keys and hid them in the freezerr...im an awesome party host.
I left the party 20 min ago..just thought i would tell you so you wouldnt think i fell in the lake again
He put on star wars porn, i thought it was hilarious last night but now i'm wondering why he has star wars porn
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