i have a feeling tonight will end in rehab
you kept yelling 'bird cage' in between songs and finally the lead singer stopped to ask if you meant 'free bird' and you said 'fuck you, i'm not gay', needless to say you were kindly escorted out
maybe if i keep dancing i won't throw up
If a video of someone that looks like me banging that chick on the hood of her car in some parking lot suddenly shows up on the web... let me know, I gotta see how that turned out.
Not much, just your average college male Sunday cleaning period blood out of the carpet.
Tell me you're kidding.
Besides scarred, I'm not much of anything right now.
i've been lying on top of my bed for the past 20 minutes
i'm about to blow half an adderall though and try to rally
We legitimately thought something was wrong with you until someone pointed out you were just doing the thriller dance
I left my pipe in my center console with a bowl packed when I took my car to the shop, and when I picked it up the weed had been smoked, but my oil change was only half price.
Worse than that. I caught my roommate jerking off to a topless stripper in gta 5.
Sometimes i think i need to stop drinking because i can't afford losing so many panties anymore
Yeah, it was all very half-hearted. In the middle of sex we both just stopped and looked at each other and said, "can we just sleep instead?"
That is so sad.
Homophobes nationwide are huddled in their bunkers tonight and I can't stop giggling. Could be the wine.
This is my college life. Rolling at 4PM on a Wednesday to skrillex in the parking lot of a mexican restaurant.
wtf why is there glitter all over my dog
At one point did I say I have a doctorate in fuck u?
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