so i know my style isnt the best ever but u should have told me i was wearing two different shoes
she definitely has that "I'll bang you, but then I'll tell your girlfriend" look to her.
I have 11 glasses of water and one beer on the table infront of me. Have to keep going to different bartends to get more. There are only two though and I think they've caught on
I am trying to figure out how to tell this kid i have a boyfriend in a way that still allows me to smoke free weed
Oh you don't have to buy a shower curtain, I stole the one from her bathroom. It has dolphins on it.
Oh god. Standing was a rash decision
I made it to Starbucks to do work and I've just been sitting here with my head on the table for 30 minutes...
The usual, im laying out. Ipod on shuffle, Large spray bottle to cool myself of and a smaller one filled with chilled vodka. I can spray the vodka right in my mouth without even opening my eyes. THIS IS LIVING....
My final act is to send you this message. I love you. Tell my family that I love them. Except my dad. Tell him I said "Eh..." while rocking your hand side to side. And tell Tim that I will always love the idea of him. Tell Caleb I love him so. Take care of Miss Kitty Fantastico. Tell the world that I will watch over. Good bye. I love you.
I am drinking green tea.... My liver is in shock
You're like Jane Goodall in a forest of gay men. Someday your autobiography will be called "Bottoms in the Mist".
Is it a coincidence that the reminder on my phone to take my birth control is "I'm ready to party" from Bridesmaids?
I know it was a good night because I got a lecture from my roommates mom about stranger danger
I'm eating cookie dough with a tongue depressor for lunch.
ever feel bored AND lazy?
I call it "awake" but yeah...
She's writing hockey erotica again.
Tell her to pick another team besides ours this time.
Randomize
