i just wanna soil my oats bro
I was just walking through Burbank and saw a hobo using solar panels on his shopping cart. We must be in trouble if the hobos are researching alternative sources of fuel...
He just asked me to come into his empty apartment after he called his parents to make sure they wouldn't come home while I was there. This is starting to look like a bad rape scene from one of those made-for-TV Lifetime movies.
He kissed a someone with a penis
Thanksgiving. A stoners favorite holiday
it's like i can feel the ghost of his dick still inside me
Despite fighting the urge to vomit throughout the whole thing, I think that interview went really well!
I got kicked out because I puked again I'm on the fire truck outside
I am now trying to reassure her that she doesn't have a wide-set vagina. So thanks, for whatever you said.
Haha yeah my head's fine..sorry about the dent in your fridge.
Porn. Physics. Porn. Icecream. Porn. That's my life now.
It's not really the holidays until I raid the medicine cabinet. Happy hydrocodone to me
And a merry methadone to all
First sunburned tits of the season. And it's only April... I feel like it's going to be a good summer.
The UTI came back with a vengeance.
Why is no one on Snapchat tonight? I want to see other people having fun so I know it still exists.
Randomize
