her voice honestly makes me want to vomit. i have springsteen cranked up all the way.
You screamed, "I am going to fuck this cheeseburger". They all started laughing until you actually started having sex with the cheeseburger.
this morning i woke up with my panties on and i knew where i was. success.
I'm at Lowes and I'm constantly looking for things to vomit in, just in case
last time i saw her she was begging the broken jukebox to play lady gaga.
Apparently we both projectiled on Erin at the same time.
That's some true roommate bonding right there.
I'm very fluent in vodka, but that seems to be a whiskey dialect.
I had 5 long islands and 2 alien brain hemorrhages…I am entirely certain that the "power hour to finish the night" idea was just too much.
She said I looked exactly like my dad. Then she made out with me. Should I be questionable?
being sober in physics class makes me realize the regularity with which i show up to it still drunk
He never answered about passing his structures test no matter how I asked him. He did send a text saying that he would be "pouring alcohol into his head and balls" so I'm guessing he has to retake the whole class.
My parents worry about me having parties when they go on vacation. Umm no it just means I'm drinking and smoking alone on the first floor of the house instead of the second
Hashtag Pathetic
I feel like with a dick like that he could of done more with it
The playlist was "songs to sing in the shower". I literally got fucked to Footloose.
Im goin to jail bro ill talk to u sun
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