So my shaver died while I was trimming...ya know. And now it is half way done. I don't think there's currently any aesthetic in keeping it this way...
so i havent checked yet but im almost positive that my left ass cheek is bruised. any idea what happened last night.
what the fuck man? i was JUST texting you the same thing. FUCK
the new roommate knocked on my door this morning holding a bong in one hand and my dennys leftovers from last night in the other. love this kid. Best student housing placement ever.
just puked in a purse in the store. some girl asked if i was gonna buy it now and i laughed and asked her why id want a bag some dude just puked in. her face looked like she saw the devil.
She introduced herself and then asked "have you ever fucked a girl with a cast?"
it's like her boobs came off with her bra
He just helps fat girls get exercise. One walk of shame at a time.
I just had to give myself a pep talk to stop lying on my floor. Literally too hung over to function
You just kept walking around saying "my brain is soup" then sat on the kitchen counter washing your feet. You bit the guy that tried to help you down
so i guess now we know you can get away with peeing mere feet from the Capitol if you shout IM PREGNANT at the guards
Lets be real here, you loved it when I was on top. With and without the machete.
I just fucked her in her boyfriends bathroom... he was in the room sleeping.
But you're the one who should be jamming foreign objects into my vaj instead of an old weird lady. I mean, it is your birthday....
I woke up this morning to a lot of blurry photos of a swan i must have chased down the riverbank and a handbag full of loose haribo.
He really is. Owns his own house and has more than one towel!
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