Dear everyone. As mark stated i did the 'piss n run' last night. This is all new to me and it scares me. Again, sorry. "if i could turn back time" -cher
i can hardly tell the difference between falling asleep and passing out anymore
I'm at Lowes and I'm constantly looking for things to vomit in, just in case
its 9am and we're in an escalade. I have no shoes and my dress is on backwards. I feel like we're the morning after a rap video
i knew you were okay when you wanted to eat in the ambulance
he quoted the bible to break up with me
I'll call you tomorrow. I'm ok and back i love you goodnight.
I stole a bike. Here's a pic
you can't tell me you didn't shit your pants I saw them in the trash can by the bathroom.
Its what happens when I drink whiskey in a sweater. It makes me feel mature and ponderful.
Opened the apartment door and the smell of sex and weed literally slapped me across the face. Kudos.
So how exactly do I backtrack from motorboating and ass grabbing?
My sheer presence has sent the hipsters running in terror. I expect no problems.
We were having sex and my nose just started pouring blood. He reached down to the floor, grabbed a sock and held it to my nose. He just kept pounding away like nothing was happening.
Did we kick in my basement door last night?
Yes. I think you actually bought tennis shoes specifically for that application.
"I mean like shit happens" should never be an excuse for anything
Randomize