Yea and his cousin visited from central and i fucked her i was texting him at work teasin him about it but sent it to his mom by accident
I hate this i feel like im wasting my youth here. I should be off hooking up with boys around the world and having awkward next morning convos in different languages!!
Last night after we fucked, I washed my vag in vodka so I wouldn't get an STD
Or, you could have used a condom
Our cab driver just admitted to beating up kids in the 60's who didn't smoke pot...
So i guess i slapped the girl sitting next to me leg and said "You know what they say, got fat legs...you gotta fat BOX"
I just opened my filing cabinet at work for the first time in months. It looks just like my pantry: nothing but peanut butter and whiskey.
I will accept it in the form of tooth necklace but if you have better ideas I am open to suggestions.
So far in the last ten minutes I have tried to pour cereal into a plate. Today's gonna be a great day.
Finally smoked with my brothers, I feel like I just won gold at the Best Older Brother Ever Olympics
I'm considering offering a class on how to find good porn.
You passed out in your dogs bed and you only willingly woke up because I told there was a bottle of vodka and a snickers bar waiting for you upstairs
Thanks. It's every girl's dream, right? To blow a bald marketing consultant 12 years her senior?
I'm not sure if 14 year old me would be disappointed or proud that I fucked him behind her middle school??
last night we watched this really loud chick try and pick up this smoking french guy who's english was sooo bad. she finally pointed at her beer and then her vagine
gross
like you've never done an interperative dance for sex, please
Really dude? drunk texts at 9 in the morning? its wednesday
Randomize
