im officially scared..,i finally realized who my boyfriend reminds me of! spencer pratt
i just unintentionally masturbated to my own facebook picture
is wine microwaveable?
Yeah. Fortunately, the road to Hell is paved with naked 21 year old girls.
Which beats the fuck out of good intentions.
someone just broke into my class and invited everyone to the bar ...now we're filling out a police report. awesome.
And with me just getting pulled over and you maxing your card out on tennis balls I don't know if we can afford it
Why is your name on a gluestick in a plastic baggy stuck to my door?
She kept saying how cute and adorable I was. I felt like a care bear getting a blowjob
Just had a threesome. Girlfriend wasn't a part of it. Broke up with her by sending her a picture of it. Hell is going to be awesome
THERE IS WEED IN MY OVEN. HOW AM I EVER SUPPOSED TO MAKE CHICKEN PARMESAN WITH WEED IN MY OVEN.
I did cocaine with my cab driver all night. It was the best date.
He sang a ten minute song about me sitting on his face and eating quesadillas. Pretty sure I have to marry him.
yeah we're all naked, and I think we just shaved Chad.
Don't EVER mix a flaming shot, with a Jello shot.. As good as it sounds flaming Jello is not a good idea
I'd kiss your neck and collarbone and then run my tongue up your neck to just behind your ear
And then lightly kick the curve inside your ear
Randomize
