It doesn't matter if they shave you or not, you're still susceptible to the staph infection.
Porn is love you can see.
...there is blood under my fingernails.
...I hope my roomates are okay.
Okay I'm all about any plan that ends with "We're gonna get you drunk."
Church boner. Awkwardddd
Some kid just walked into class with his schedlue written on a keystone box.
You haven't puked in my sink in over a year.. Youre coming over this weekend
My google searches from last night: tetanus shot rabbit bite, Bacardi gluten free
Why was there a 1000 piece puzzle covered in hot sauce being cooked in the microwave?
I'm at a gyno in Japan. Safe to say every possible rule of etiquette is about to be broken. Buckle up, motherfuckers.
Reasons why I love cats more than people: 1. They're not fucking people.
I'm tripping pretty hard right now but every time a Volvo drives by I feel like everything is gonna be alright
i'm gonna friendzone myself so you dont have to
You were so drunk, you kept telling everyone you had a platinum vagina.
Let the healthy eats/juice cleanse begin. Today is day 1
Have you cleansed yourself of the boy yet?
Randomize
