I woke up fully clothed on top of my sheets and i didnt even pee myself..so proud.
maybe tonight we can turn coloring into a drinking game
the girl next to me in class is drinking a margarita out of a slurpee cup. i know your going to ask how i know its a margarita and the answer is i can smell the tequila. i never want to leave this place
not only did i soak my thesis by spilling celebratory shots on it, but i also stained it with lipstick making it obvious i tried to drink the vodka off it......dgaf, worth it.
He came on my chin and called me cumbledore. i give up.
Uh, also, Rob told me he felt bad for choking you.
My picture of a beer can in a McDonalds cup full of ice got more likes than my relationship with her. Is beer THAT much better than monogamy?
I went out as a member of the house of Gryfindor and came home as Snooki
I'm sorry I compared your vagina to nascar
I wore water proof eyeliner just incase the first picture of me of 2012 is a mugshot
Ummmm you know you're drinking vodka out of a Skittles bag, right?
I think I won over his best friend. He was staring at my boobs all night.
I guess I can give it a shot. I usually just get belligerently drunk and go where my penis and feet lead me. No fights or getting too lost, so they seem to be doing a good job
I'm pretty sure I just won at life. I touched the bushy tail of a squirrel while he had his mouth full and was digging in a plant on campus. That is all.
If you can wrestle my underwear off of me, you can top. It'll be like using an amulet in Legends of the Hidden Temple. Instead of not getting captured, you don't get fucked in the ass.
Randomize
