I have the worst wedgie. Seriously. Its horible. And there are people everywhere around me.
Slide your hand down the back of your pants and shift to the side slowly
...are you coming on to me?
pop tarts are not kleenex
When i tried to give you something that wasn't tequila...like water....you kept saying it was against your religion.
I've always been the spiritual type.
My mom just blew pot smoke into my nose and called me a cat.
Also pregame at mine tomorrow?
His best friend walked in while we were banging, turned on the light, yelled BURN, grabbed his computer to play the Thunderstruck drinking game, turned off the light and left.
just found gum connecting my sunglasses to my floor board. you don't want to know where else it was.
On an unrelated note: I'm also a big advocate of the "never waste a boner" theory.
They are chanting tits for freedom and I'm highly considering
Now that I'm single, I like to think of myself as in a relationship with Taco Bell.
Just saw the german running around on campus. Thought of his small penis.
As you should.
The window painters skipped us. They didn't know what to do with the giant SMOKE WEED in the window. So they just skipped it.
the best part of college is nobody can tell me not to eat six toaster strudels and jerk off in the shower
Started my day with puking in a trash can.... Its gonna be a beautiful day
I'm her ex, so unless you're interested in her massive moral failings and open season vagina, I'm not your guy.
I haven’t been this excited since I found out they sold cases of Jack Daniels.
Randomize
