Afterall, it is the real San Francisco treat
he sat in the bathtub shirtless yelling in gibberish for 40 minutes. funniest. stoner. ever.
Someone sharpied 'shit show' on my tits. Someone with excellent penmanship
Stuck in the Dallas airport. At the bar. Everytime a flight to DC gets cancelled, I'm takin a shot. Fuck you snow.
i've met an abundance of virgins and guys who where flip flops, i thinks there's a correlation
Nice. Don't spend your therapist's co-pay on Jaeger bombs.
don't tell me about being eco-friendly. i just threw up in the same bag i bought my liquor in. RECYCLING
Its important to me that you know there is a tambourine down my pants.
It's hard to take you serious when you're crying your eyes out wearing an adult sized onesie.
She was mad I came so fast. I was like, It's the Olympics! Fastest time wins! We can train you in the offseason.
I couldn't sleep so I took 4 shots of vodka and promptly threw up in the sink. Happy Thursday
I puked on his mom. Not my proudest moment
I want to eat a stick of butter
Did your pain meds kick in?
It tastes nice
How drunk is too drunk to be on an airplane?
The waitress at the Denny's in usa remembered me from 2 years ago when we went at 4 in the morning plastered, wearing overalls and huge inflatable corona hats on our heads
Randomize
