Yeah, where have you been?
Clearly not facebooking enough. Sweet jesus.
May have just accidentally purchased an iphone on Kate's credit card. This has potential to be bad.
What time are you coming? Can you stop and get mouse traps and trojans?
You have mice?
no why?
I'm going to kill the bastard that switches my hot hookups from the previous night with ugly chicks
The douche that always wears spandex at the gym just walked into class with a dick going into his mouth drawn on his face. The professor said "rough night" and he still has no idea. Tyring to get a pic
And for your info. Don't pee outside with glow sticks. People will still see you.
I'm literally partying with O.J. Simpson's son right now. I don't know what to make of this.
Yeah. she rolled up to the party on a unicycle then peed in the bushes. TA of the year.
i got two bottles of merlot and sorrows to drown, you in??
My mind just played a snippet of me asking to be a Joey and trying to climb into your apron pocket...
Below this exterior of ice is a layer of cum. Followed by a pool of gin. More cum. Then, finally a heart.
No it's like. I don't respect you. And I think you're a terrible person but. I still wanna bone it out.
You tell anyone I'm rocking out to Pitbull in an economy, base-model car, I'll kill you.
I am become drunk, destroyer of all worlds
RICK FUCKING MORANIS!!!!!
Randomize
