end the night at a gay bar...not sure how...but why the fuck do i have two condoms in my pocket?
i overslept, had to take a cab to the train station, might puke, bought the wrong flavored vitamin water, and mj's dead. what a terrible world to wake up to.
I don't understand how people can have that much vomit in them
your ability to fuck hot guys even when you go out in sweats amazes me
This is one of those situations that make me think to myself "what life decision did I make to get here"
The movie was so bad she gave me two blowjobs. Two.
He would stand there for a few seconds with a blank look on his face then randomly start running full sprint towards macdonalds. We'd catch him and he'd promise to stop so we'd let him go and he'd do it again.
Sober me does NOT approve of what went on in my pants last night.
I just told him that with every paper, I'd take a picture of myself with one less piece of clothing. Who say's I can't be a tutor?
Am I allowed to be in denial about being gay again? Or is that one of those things you can't do?
Is it acceptable to have my intern get me pedialite and plan b?
It's a learning experience. She can add to her resume that she cured her bosses hangover and poor decisions
Our first order of business as new roommates was to test the sex acoustics of our rooms. I need a new box spring.
So I woke up alone in the hotel room clutching a bible to my chest. Explain, please.
What's the world record for number of orgasms reached on ones birthday? Asking for a friend.
I mean, you've had my nipples in your mouth now, so I think we've reached a certain level of friendship.
Randomize