Seriously? Do you have me saved in your phone as 'check every 3 months to see if she's single yet'?
We've finally come to the understanding that as long as our conversation stays stricaly sexual, we get along.
It's hard to be above the influence when you are the influence.
I'm beginning to think I'm sterile because I definitely should be pregnant by now.
Please do NOT set off the smoke alarm when I am tied to the bed like this...
we left the music on while we were fucking. some kanye west song started playing and he started to cry
Your dad just texted me? He said I needed to holler at him when I get up tomorrow. I honestly thought you had somehow gone to jail.
Are we talking about who knows if I'll get naked pictures of you with a broadsword or who knows if I'll be surprised?
I'm a sociology major remember
Well that and comm
Basically you majored in how to get laid
The gas station was closed so we found old PBR and played Edward Nalgene Hands instead
Sext: Bring me pancakes from the midnight breakfast gathering please
I've never SEEN someone give negative fucks before. It's actually rather impressive. I want to study under them.
I would drive 12 hours round trip for you to have an orgasm, cause that's friendship
Drunk me really needs to stop 1. telling every attractive dude in a relationship that monogamy isn't real 2. Proposing threesomes with them and their girlfriends
I don't know how much expertise I could offer. My best advice is, "don't drown, for god's sake don't drown"
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