I just got called an ass for saying no thanks to a Greenpeace solicitor. I don't want the whales to die but I do want Greenpeace to fail. Conundrum.
its summer. and we all know college gfs do not count in summer.
college gfs dont count ever. theyre like getting corn rows in jamaica. you feel cool at the time. then you go home and people make fun of you.
Just walked pass a bum on the way to a coinstar... awkward
I was holding her hair back and when she quit puking she told me she's been saving her scissor virginity for me.
I left two shots of jager for you guys when you wake up from your death. Do with it as you wish
Thank God I did Vegas bombs with those cops at their Christmas party. We should so be in jail.
Was last night real? Did I lick your forehead while you laid in between my legs while we laid next to your boyfriend?
Dropping the entire last roll of TP into the toilet is a hurt you don't want to know.
Look at you go. You're like the Slutty Librarian that Could. They should write children's books about you. Children's books for adults.
Is it rude if I don't go?
No. It is not rude if you don't go to her cat's Star Wars themed birthday party.
He held my hair back for me while i vomited in my driveway last night and i repayed him by farting mid-heave.
That awkward moment when the guy you were hitting on at the bar last night is a possible suspect in a murder case.
This weekend was amazing, 4 confirmed pukings, 2 cops, 3 hookers, one photographed t-bagging of the groom, and a night in an illegal gambling house.
Well he had a nice beard and it smelled good so there was no way I wasn’t going home with him.
Took it for the first time last night, and i saw a giant pillsbury boy coming after me with a wrench in his hand.
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