I looked him in the face and asked if we could stop. he asked why. I said "I can't feel it.". ...I feel bad; I should have faked.
well. it's seven AM and i'm too high to hula hoop.
I really wish you were half the slut you're sister was in college
i totally fed the cab driver fruit salad with my hands while he was driving
I feel like today should be a " im going to have sex with you cause its raining and theres nothing else to do" kinda day
I wasn't sure how he was going to followup "so,i shot myself.." i guess "w a nail gun" is the best choice out of what I expected
I just found a wine bottle in my shower. Must have been a good night.
She had caution tape on her head and she blew me.
Apparently I told a girl last night, that's she's super beautiful and I don't want to fuck she just deserves being eaten out
At least you get to smell pizza at your job. I just smell despair all day long.
I tried snowmobiling at 2 am. I broke my glasses. You're right. Things do get out of control.
I don't know, I kept pretending that I was riding an elephant during. It was actually really fun, but you can't tell him that!
Chicks before dicks must only mean American dicks
I'm just more comfortable with the bondage
The CEO is on this whole 'what do you do with your spare time?' kick. Umm... get drunk and have sex in bar parking lots.
Randomize
