He’s a liberal pot smoker and perfect for me. He invented a game where we have to smoke a joint every time you hear a Middle Eastern accent on NPR.
he drunkenly confessed to whacking off before coming over so the sex'd be longer. this one's a keeper
"tonights gonna be a goodnight" was blasting at the club while i was screaming "NO ITS NOT" and crying. How do you think it went?
I found him crying and drunk, in my closet holding a picture of Tyler Perry. He managed to say"he's just so many people"
Siri just called me GayBoy in front of my family. I will destroy you.
Must say, as a couple, she and I are thrilled that our pretend lesbianism has paid off.
This question may sound intrusive, but how did pushing out a baby affect your vagina?
I'll pretend I don't know she's blind, my morals claimed the back seat in this adventure.
I just love that a strip club has taco Tuesday.
So we hooked up and then instead of texting me, he endorsed me on LinkedIn for Microsoft Word a few days later
My desperation for dick was off put by his anime figure collection.
I FEEL LIKE HILARY MUST FEEL WHEN TRUMP MANSPLAINS AT HER
The last time the Patriots won the Super Bowl I lost my virginity. I can only imagine what'll happen if they win this year.
An old Grimace plushie came to life and gave me a pretty knife. I'm never doing acid again.
I didn't mean that as an expression. I'm literally asking if you want to watch Netflix and do nothing.
Randomize