Donna and I are betting on whether or not you are going to cheat on your boyfriend tonight....I said you wouldnt do it.
You might as well just give her the money now.
He fingered me while we both sang the fresh prince theme song.
Marry him
i did the 'picked up item' thing from zelda when i jizzed on her face
so you're single again?
yea but it was worth it
My social work teacher just told our class about her bicurios adventures in college
is she hot?
She is now
you know you were way too high when you wake up next to a handwritten list of all the things you'd do for a Klondike bar
That is the best grammar in a dirty text ever. Excellent use of the semi-colon. And yes; I am hard.
Do you know how disconcerting it is to hear the sound a dog makes while it drinks water and find out that it's someone eating you out?
You know you're an adult when you break 100 to get 75 cents, to buy a condom from a bar vending machine in South Boston.
If I had that in my pants Omg I would want a shirt made so everyone knew
Nothing like playing hide and seek with a state patrol officer early in the morning to get your heart rate up.
Holy fuck where did this cat tattoo on my ass come from
no it was
but you compared your dick to a female disney character
*goes to show prof a picture* *forgets tit pic is in camera roll*
I just found peanut butter between my boobs. This was for you.
I left my red butterfly dildo laying on my bedroom floor this morning....my landlord is currently showing the house to people. Fuck can't ever face him again.
Randomize