Just checked, might have creepy crawlies. What does chlamydia feel like? Not near wireless to consult webMD.
her name is jenna, so i wanna cunt punt her
that's how i am about ashleys and britneys
her fupa was seducing me. this is the last time i'm doing shrooms.
BROstal carolina. Watching a boy drinking rum and coke out of a cup of noodle empty cup.
I think I'm making progress on my commitment issues. I drunk made out with the same guy from last semester this weekend.
i think i have that disease where you wake up in strange places drunk.
threw up outside of the dorms in the parking lot in the pouring rain on the first day of class, i'd say summer is off to a good start.
You took off all your clothes to try on her fur coat and then punched me when I said you couldn't wear it to bed.
She's started this new thing where whenever she drives by random couples talking alone outside she yells "break up! this is your sign!"
I'm not going to say what I did. You're smart enough to figure it out. But I did it. And you owe me 20$
I stole all of the toasting champagne and did an interpretive dance to "wind beneath my wings". I am literally everything you're not supposed to do at weddings.
But your showmanship is impeccable.
You took motorboating me in public to a whole new level. You poured your beer down my top and LAPPED IT UP.
dude wtf why are there forks in my wall
does "I AM MAGNETOOOO" ring any bells, because that was you for an entire hour last night
I’m literally watching say yes to the dress, eating fancy cheeses with crackers, and I have orange dark chocolates. All of which is being washed down with merlot. And I’m 100% sure a porno is gonna go down next door tonight. They don’t have a car and arrived via taxi. Happy holidays from motel 6 Pendleton Oregon!
if i had an alexa it would be saying “have sex with guys that don’t care about you”
Randomize