I would rather wake up to a truck driver than wake up to her
He brought over a 20 dollar bottle of wine. Who does that? This is college.
he was like a christmas ornament you would hang on the back of the tree....not great but still made the cut.
We were making out when she went into convulsions. At least now I know she's allergic to peanuts.
morning after pill = breakfast in bed
So the bar isnt gonna put that broken window on my tab. appaerently they want cash
I am fine. Katie thinkr i broke things pole dancing. I am coherant.
You know, there is no convenient place for your beer when you are on shrooms taking a shower.
Leave the bottle at home cause either way I'm not taking another shot. You have no idea how long it took me to compose this text free of grammatical error.
Gold star for you, but I'm on my way and the soco is buckled in next to me. This is happening.
They knew I had a party because the refrigerator settings were different, but they don't notice that we installed a new toilet seat so it's okay.
I'm standing up, for my all my brothers and sisters, and fighting against whiskey dick.
You're the only person I know who would go to New Jersey to give a blowjob and I have so much respect for you for it
Things he has managed to cum on so far on spring break: my bikini, my back-up bikini, three of my four bras, two pairs of panties, four beds, six chairs, the floor of several hotel rooms, the window/door to the balcony from both sides, my tits, my face, my stomach, his stomach, my ass, his best friend's girlfriend's face, and his best friend's dick.
Just FYI spring break is over and you're supposed to be back in class but hey sounds like you had your orgy so congrats.
Currently eating a pop tart in my underwear waiting for the washer. Not one of my prouder moments.
Oh my fucking god!! There is a barefoot white guy with a fucking ninja sword in the middle of the street next to the pride gas station swinging his sword at peoples cars!! He almost got me. 3 people swerved off the road and stopped. I told a cop.
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