So #1 way to come back last night and #2 wishbone and I broke into his house and i opened joey's door and u were both passed out and pantless.
i am sorry to ask, but i need y0ur honest opinion . when i turn sideways to someone, does my nose stick out like a beak ?
tonight would not even compare to the night i tried to pee in the living room
Which one of you FUCKERS filled the toilet with soil and planted my mothers daisys in it? NOT FUCKING HAPPY
I wish life was like the Sims. Right when you're pregnant the music would play and I would just know instead of agonizing for the next two weeks.
Also, I just saw a woman change into her stripper outfit in the bathroom at Target.
other than her wanting kids and me wanting to do drugs,were perfect for each other
Don't blame me for eating all the ham.. I gave it out to people, so at most I'm guilty of ham distribution
They asked if I was about to puke and my response was to laugh and suddenly throw up. Continuing my asshole streak I kept laughing while still vomiting.
truck drivers should not leave their trucks unlocked with cigarettes inside when we're drunk and walking around.
I knew my sign language would come in handy. I just used sign to coordinate a coke deal.
They invited me day drinking but brought their kids. 3 two year olds and 1 11 month old. I was asked to change a diaper, I laughed and took another drink of this margarita. I LIKE CHANEL AND TEQUILA NOT CHILDREN. Can we make new friends?
I just burped smoke on the bus. Hello 6:48am
The DJ was throwing glowsticks into the crowd and managed to smack one guy in the face with them
I want your attention. I want your attention in the form of your penis inside my vagina.
Randomize
