All these guys look like the American Apparel version of Jesus...
these burps are starting to have way more vomit in them,
I know im too high when i think porn has an interesting story line.
Street performer on bourbon st just lifted a sewer top so I could puke down it. I love New Orleans.
Then she opened the door and pitched the dead squirrel out, yelling "TELL THE OTHERS WHAT YOU SAW"
Nothing says I've got my life together like buying a jumbo bottle of 7$ wine in sweat pants on a monday night
Just read my long term horoscope. I'm not gonna get laid for another 2 years.
she's drunk at 2 in the afternoon again. at least my mother is predictable.
He came into your room last night to tell me he was leaving, when I woke up this morning he was facedown in your hallway. He didn't make it very far.
There are very few times i will succumb to laying naked on my bathroom floor. But lastnight is a resonable enough cause.
so I'm staring at this cat and wondering..is the tail of the cat the derivative of it's head?
stop getting stoned after studying for a calc final.
I told him I was on the pill and it was OK to fire away. I want to never have to wear panty house or ever go to an office again. This is my early retirement plan. I want half of his NBA money.
I really would enjoy sexual intercourse with you.
Most formal booty call EVER
so i may or may not have just had sex on the stage of the lecture hall....
I gave in, made out with her, and long story short, I'm giving hetero another try.
Randomize
