he thought i was a dude.
and the mascot is a pinecone. its really no surprise that people here dont get laid
She was Ugg boots AND a Bumpit. Of course I didn't sleep with her.
You told me I was special while we were having sex and I asked why.
What did I say?
Don't ask me questions while I have an erection,
why is there cat hair all over my deoderant?
she wanted to smell more freshershest than you.
apologized to him about 10 times for being drunk. told him about 15 times that he was "really pretty"
Took me 12 hours to be sober again. Shitshow mission accomplished
I'm smoking a bowl and pondering why we haven't discovered teleportation again.
I had another sex dream about you but it was very dissatisfying. As you finished you starting singing the star spangled banner. then you left. I was not amused.
you showed up at my door at 3am, handed me a bag of cold chicken nuggets and said "lead me to the non-irish Siobhans," do YOU think you were tripping?
Also, you need to stop getting hammered and taking showers with people.
As much of a hooker as I am you don't slam where you drink
I literally just ordered a gold medal online that is engraved with his name, "01.01.16", and "BEST SEX EVER"
Also, I had mind-blowing sex on a pool table
Almost gave the delivery guy a 34 dollar tip. That high
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