Sometimes I think my vagina thinks its a penis.
I'm starting therapy this week.. Taylor Swift music isn't cutting it for me anymore
one of the cashiers from Kroger is eating at my kitchen table and nobody knows why.
I appreciate the offer. Swallowing pride is much like swallowing cum, difficult and unpleasant
Just realized the guy is in my class. Unless there's another guy that had half his ear bit off at a St. Patty's party
You better fuck one or both of those bitches and bring me pictures that will make me uncomfortable
I can do at least one of those things.
Ya. I wonder how much being a beard for a major league baseball player pays. This could be a lucrative arrangement...
Hey man, I found your crocs and your visor in the road. Got em for you.
Just saw a drunk bitch in the west village peeing on a car. You are not alone.
Still stoned. I like your bong. It can stay. No others, though.
So what other shows do you masturbate to? Or is it just friends
Are you serious?! She sent a pizza instead of showing up?!
She did indeed. Papa Johns. It helped because I was super hangry. That bitch is smart!
SHE POOPED THE CONDOM WHOLE
I cant believe you bit her ass cheek, she must have been really weirded out.
yeah so we made out to make it less awkward
i woke up to drewlling on a plate of eggrolls half naked halfway between my bed and the floor, and i have no idea where my pants went
Randomize
