Uggggg i want to leave and get bombed over baghdad
over or under 1pm before my bracket is too blurry to read?
Um, yeah. You lit my birthday candles with a joint. Mom= not happy.
He just gave himself a boner while driving using "the power of his mind"
I'm just concerned it's gonna end up in my vagina again
I thought I walked in on an orgy of smurfs. Man I love shrooms
I don't remember its real name, I just call it the Harrison Ford Cush after that idea with the Indiana Jones mask. I should just get high and sell people my ideas for their Halloween costumes all the time. I'd make a fucking fortune.
Nah its cool some of my cousins have fucked the same girls and brought them on family vacations and everything.
Weekend plan is a big bag of dope, delivery food, Bollywood marathon and masterbating my dick raw.
I think I met somebody from your birthday this past weekend. He said I held a push up contest outside the bar and told them I would make out with the winner. He said he won..
"I'm gonna wax that ass" was the successful pick up line used on me last night. Clearly I had a few too many cause it worked..
You had sex with a kid to spare him the shame of being a virgin. Evidence is on my side.
My vagina just clenched in fear
His mom came while we were asleep naked and started asking me about my plans after high school... Is that even a thing.
Ccatlin cimbing thru th sunroof plz come
Randomize
