is this the only place in the world where you can get shot on one side of town, and have to stop for cows crossing the street on the other side?
well what she called a "work function" most people call "doing shots with your boss while people throw napkins at you."
I rarely go in there. Unless it's for mini cadbury eggs and whiskey.
Ssssssssssshhhhhhhhhhhiiiiiiii!iiiiiiiiiitttttttttttttttssssssssssssshhhhhhhhooooooooowwwwwww. Letters for emphaSSIIISISEEEE!
Sunday is a myth, I refuse to believe that I waste an entire day unable to function after a night of drinking.
Lots of alcohol. 3rd graders fuck me now.
Auto correct or actual 3rd graders?
If you bring chipotle to my house i'll let you eat your burrito out of my vagina
Ps there is nothing more humbling in the world than havin to watch cheaper by the dozen on the waiting room tv while getting the morning after pill at the drs. Nothing
I'm going to teach Troy such valuable life lessons. Yesterday I told him to stay away from girls who drink redbull and vodkas.
I will show up on your front porch in a wet t shirt and some mac and cheese
At this point, I'd date an ax murderer. So long as he doesn't cry all the time, have ED, or leave me with his unspayed cat. My list of requirements is becoming increasingly specific.
i'm just really offended he didn't want to have breakup sex. like that was the only thing i was really looking forward to
I just wanted to personally thank you for throwing clementine slivers at me across the room while we made out
I really need to get a comfy set of masturbating shoes
Nothing says I'm doing some sketchy shit like coming out of your bedroom with your underwear inside out
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