**** and his GF asked me to give his stuff back, and they would give me a 100. HA, they dont know I have it to charity haha
This is the kind of period I feel I should name out of respect to the fact I might have just gotten lucky this time.....
It's one of the reasons i'm here, along with emotional support, physical support if you need it, and power orgasms.
Do I buy ice cream sandwiches or a 40? these are the difficult life decisions I am faced with.
Don't be offended. I can't even stand sleeping next to my dildo after I'm done, let alone a whole person.
My dildo fell into the bathtub. It sounded like a chainsaw.
I'm just saying, asking "Are you happy with me?" during a handjob is simply unfair and scientifically inadmissiable.
we got 12 live crabs and then we got really stoned and know we're playing with the crabs. thats nom watermellon nom. now i'm plaing with a crap whos such a gentleman
Boy did I ever crash and burn on the pickled egg pick up line.
Girl at work pointed out that the blood vessels around my eyes were all popped and I smell like puke
After your flask fell out of your leg brace and you told your RA that it was juice, you tried to unlock your dorm room but your key was attached to your bra so he ended up seeing your boobs
Is it really bad that my last patient offered to fuck my brains out if I gave her IV morphine...and I gave her my phone number and told her when my shift is over?
We've been watching Scooby Doo and having sex for the past 36 hours, so life is great
About to wash down a xan with an iced pumpkin spiced latte from starbs and I feel like I've never lived up to my stereotype so much at one time
I looked into her soul, didn't I?
You eye-fucked her soul.
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