seriously i just wanna be friends
pass
They just gave us root beer floats. I guess I won't quit my job today.
For once I'm glad there wasn't morning sex. Yes, that sore from the night before.
I feel like royalty, that girl from last night had a vajazzled vag. Bucket list complete.
Climbing onto the roof in a dress and high heeled boots was probably not the best idea, especially after all that Bacardi.
Annd you probably wouldn't of fallen down the stairs if you didn't insist on taking 'finale shots'
Her thighs are so strong. I thought my head was gonna get crushed when I was eating her out
When I like her vacation photos, it really means "Im sleeping with your boyfriend." wonder if she will make the connection.
Shot gunning beers for breakfast. You better be ready for today.
Why do you need me to cover for work?
I wouldn't say NEED but lets just say I smell like guacamole and semen.
Idk she didn't seem that weird to me but I had just eaten an entire tray of jello infused with liquor so I could be wrong...
I'm about to make existential crisis tacos.
I was supposed to go on a date tonight but I cancelled because I found out the Lizzie McGuire movie is on Netflix.
Idk what's worse.... Yesterday not waking up in my bed or today waking up in the hello kitty gown.
Oh, the accent alone guaranteed a bj. It was when he started drunkenly singing in PERFECT PITCH that I knew I was fucking him.
Randomize
