Going to have to start putting down newspaper if puking the bed is going to be a habit
oh my god. the driver of our party bus just said "no drugs unless you're sharin," my confidence in him is not high at the moment
He goes "sorry was at the gym. Some of us workout " and I wanted to text him back and go "well some of us do occasional drugs so we don't have to"
Sometimes you get drunk and fall out of a car. I never said it was glamorous.
But in the grand scheme of things, "should i bang a hot roommate or a sexy giant" is really not a bad lot in life
How many trips to the liquor store in a week constitutes alcoholism?
It's either gonna be a cock in my mouth or a burger. You decide which.
Buying the inflatable beer pong table for the pool was one of the best investments I've ever made
I went by my nickname in rehab. It made it feel more like summer camp.
The struggle bus crashed, rolled down a mountain, and went on fire, and I was on it ugh.
My mom and sister were over. When my drunk roommate came home, he yelled "GOT BITCHES IN MY CONDO"
when u match a guy bc he's from Oregon & he's trying to flirt, shut up i just want to talk about trees
i showed up really high and was trying to not be,so in order to not seem high, i got plastered
No I feel the same as usual. Mopey with a chance of bitch fits.
Hammered...8am...why is there chickens in the living room?
Randomize
