right. well i dont plan on getting laid till i find a respectable girl that i can make unrespectable
Gooodnight my beautiful sex angel. Much luvz for joo, etceteraz
Can we just ponder our lives for a second.
No I think my brain may implode in a puff of cocaine and sparkles.
The best, and by the best I mean the worst, was the 7 month along pregnant chick in the skin tight body suit.
I'm sitting in my room naked waiting for him. When he gets here im going to make him do 20 pushups and lick my clit for a hour
He's scared I want a relationship? How does texting him at three am and sleeping with four of my exes symbolize that?
If you loved me you'd bring cheese fries and a condom
Fucked a kid by the name of your hometown tonight... FOR THE WIN.. BF4L
of course the one day I come to class high we have guest speakers from the police department... Just my luck
He was awesome with her today. I can't say that it didn't make my Fallopian tubes sing "The Hills Are Alive."
Our house drank 90 beers yesterday afternoon before 8pm so add that to the list
did anyone ever come to your door asking about the blood on the floor?
He told you he loved you. Then you wanted to find a chainsaw to cut his dick off.
when she didn't finish her burrito you wanted to call the cops because you said it was neglect
Have you ever forgotten how to pee? I did last night. Standing in front of the urinal with dick in hand. WTF were we drinking???
Randomize
