We were tigers and tigers don't wear pants
Honestly dude, i think you should ignore the restraining order if you really love her.
dude there is absolutely no room for a slide in our room
She had another shot and asked if I wanted to taste her tongue ring. Then I helped her pee.
You beat him at the shot competition, and proceeded to rub it in while telling everyone to "ASK ME A MATH QUESTION!!!"
How would I get in touch with Carly Rae Jepsen if I wanted to thank her for the loss of my virginity?
Just thought you should know, Im with josh now. Im no longer available for rent. I have a full time tenant now. Like, a year long lease at least.
This guy at the airport was telling me 3/4 dudes in his group got rufied at some strip club. One guy woke up in the hospital, another found himself in a random parking garage, the other got back to the room and they all shit their pants. Go Vegas.
We just don't discuss our relationships. It's pretty much like we're single no matter what to each other. And I'm okay with that. ¯\\(ツ)/¯
Just to clarify, I'm still tripping balls
On an unrelated note, I've come up with a theory of everything
Found another bruise from Saturday #stopliquor2014
You're acting like you didn't chug fireball, like duh you have bruises you drunk betch
Those thigh tattoos deserve the handsomest of grins between them. Dont settle.
I have vodka and 50 pizza rolls best spring break ever
I'm very impressed by your ability to explain a story about your fiery snatch solely in emojis. props.
Dad hid the hash somewhere in my room and wont tell me where it is until i clean it. My room is spotless. The hash was on the ceiling fan...
Randomize
