She took her shirt off and was broader than Dwight Howard.
Are you going to tell your therapist we boned?
Penelope Cruz needs to learn American words.
Well I think that's a good thing that I'm not full of someone else.
while cleaning my room, i've found many wonderful things. one of these is the card you gave me for my eighteenth birthday. it's a christmas card that says "i want to stick it in your sponger"
So he handed us the weed then asked us if we needed any papers. And she goes "i dont know what that means, do we need to sign something?"
You love him. Dinosaurs. Math. Sex.
It went alright, nothing too special, just got threatened with a knife by our server.
Nicee. Atleast your phone doesn't change pen in to PENISsSSSSSSS like mine does
i can't believe you just compared my dick to leprosy
Was I holding a cat when you saw me? Because that was the height of that party for me.
I feel like I'm eight miles away and my brain is just now getting here. You got a lot of fucking catching up to do.
Code 10 We gotta leave. Now. I took a dump in the upstairs toilet and its clogged and overflowing, and believe me I don't want to have to explain myself to this frat on parents weekend.
My hungover walk of shame was interrupted by a stranger on a balcony throwing me a beer to shotgun... at 10 a.m....
to be fair i didnt know she wanted to sleep with me
WHY THE FUCK ELSE WOULD SHE DRAG A STRAIGT MAN INTO A VICTORIA'S SECRET CHANGEROOM GODDAMMIT
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